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can a novel be written in one week?

April 3, 2024

yes but.

and, in this case, we’re discussing this in a non-AI context —

no one should use AI to write novels.

where’s the fun in that?

the fun of writing novels is in the WRITING OF THE NOVEL part.

if the fun for you is finishing the novel, as opposed to writing the novel, then you’re not a real writer.

you’re a hack.

okay so.

now that we’ve done some housekeeping. with our long rubber gloves and a feather duster and a feather in our hats.

here are five things to consider when it comes to WRITING A NOVEL in a week.

one: speed is your friend (and not just the one you see once a year at Costco). writing fast will allow you to live and breathe and move through the story in a way that writing slow will not allow.

sometimes the best writing is the flow writing. when you enter the dance and get lost in the words and the worlds you’re creating.

this is close to godliness, surely.

fast-writing, so long as it is sincere, is your best friend (the one that calls you too much and you dab over the never-surrendering price of Costco hot dogs).

two: be promiscuous

pour onto the page.

some people are promiscuous with money.

some with dating and relationships.

you must be promiscuous with words.

run up your debt.

be a floozy.

and don’t, don’t ever, ever worry.

edit and revise later.

now, explode.


throw on an ambient music track on youtube.

and bleed onto the page:

all of your hopes, fears and dreams and good things and bad things and all of it. and even more of it.

three: word count.

track a little. keep count. if you’re writing a 20,000 word novella, divide that by 7. but don’t work on the Lord’s day. it’s unbecoming.

double up your manna gathering on Saturday.

Sunday was made for YOU.

four: pre-outline. (optional)

some people.

outline their novels before they write.

sometimes i do.

sometimes i don’t.

‘do what you must, Obi Wan.’

do what you must.

five: sit your ass down.

and do it.

and drink lemon-water with pink salt in the mornings.

and plenty of coffee.

stay hydrated.


these things will allow you to write for hours upon hours with energy and vitality.


the masters of time and space and especially of art — cinema, painting, writing, architecture and dreaming —

always had fun.

every scene in every Hitchcock film screamed:

the maker of this film was having fun!

every frame, every piece of dialogue, every nuanced shot of a woman’s profile. or of a man’s rebuttal. or even of a flat building or a long road.

everything, all of it.

this is why AI is damnable.

this is why you are divine.

in your art, you can work hard.

and in your hard work, you can take great pleasure.

in every. last. word. phrase. sentence. character. expression.



keep moving.

find the flow.

and erode the fear.

and flow upwards and outwards and overtake the bank.

and turn the Nile into blood.

without tricks.

because this is where miracles happen.

just you. and your pen. and the blank page no longer.

words and MORE are taking shape.

and so are you.

and so am i.


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